Tag Archive | "MDM"

<em>Flipside News Network</em> Projects Unanimous Obama Victory

Flipside News Network Projects Unanimous Obama Victory

DISCLAIMER: This projection and study was funded by MSNBC, CNN, NPR, the City of Chicago, the Democratic Party, Boystown, women, pretty much every academic institution, and most developed countries.

FLIPSIDE NEWS HEADQUARTERS (AKA SECRET BASEMENT FORT) – President Barack Obama will win Tuesday’s election over Republican presidential nominee, Mitt Romney, by a margin of 538 electoral votes to zero, according to the Flipside News Network’s recent projection. Representatives from every Flipside convened in an undisclosed location this weekend to analyze the data gathered from a nearly one month study.

“We’ve utilized our collective resources and, with help from our generous contributors, produced a very accurate and precise projection, one that we’re very proud of,” a Flipside News Network spokesperson stated to the press.

The representative from The Feinberg Flipside informed reporters, “Everything that I learned from Medical Decision Making was used in this study. Confidence intervals, relative risk ratios, that other risk ratio that was on the exam that I couldn’t figure out, and all the biases. Especially selection bias [wink wink].”

Despite their assuring the media that the study was done honestly and correctly, there are many who doubt the predictive value and validity of the Flipside News Network’s work. The bias of the Flipside representatives has come into question because of the organization’s history of being liberal regarding more or less every political issue, as well as their refusal to attract readers other than college students.

“All they did was contact their friends, at least one from every state,” one GOP pundit explained on Fox News. “That’s the only way Mississippi and Alabama are going blue.”

The representative from The Stanford Flipside later admitted, “Well, we don’t know anyone other than college students. We were going to call people outside of academia to see who they were voting for, but we didn’t have time, what with midterms and football to worry about.”

The Flipside News Network plans to outsource their next study to statistics majors and not blow all their money on a kegger and donations to the Democratic Party.

Posted in No. 4, PoliticsComments (0)

Student, Like, Really Concerned About These Herpes Statistics

Student, Like, Really Concerned About These Herpes Statistics

HUGHES AUDITORIUM – M1 student Grant Laske was shocked last week during a Science in Medicine lecture on herpesviruses. “It was early in the morning, so I wasn’t paying 100% attention yet,” said Laske, “but, I’m pretty sure I heard the lecturer say something like 90% of people are infected with herpes.”

“That number is just, like, unacceptable,” Laske added.

Since the lecture, Laske has been trying to get to the bottom of this shocking statistic. He reports he spent most of the PBL session immediately following the lecture looking up the rates of herpesvirus infection on his phone. But Laske says he has been having difficulty interpreting the information he is finding.

“I just wish I’d been paying more attention in MDM, you know?” said Laske. “I can’t remember whether the lecturer was telling us prevalence of the disease or incidence. And frankly I don’t know the difference between those two things anyways.”

Laske’s friend Karen Wentley says she saw Laske in Galter Library this weekend reading Clinical Epidemiology by Fletcher and Fletcher and muttering to himself about alpha levels.

Posted in Local, No. 4Comments (0)


Headlines

  • FSM to Charge You $72.07 for Graduation Attire, Because, Like, Why Not?FSM to Charge You $72.07 for Graduation Attire, Because, Like, Why Not?
  • Lonely M4 Couples Matches with Da Vinci Surgical RobotLonely M4 Couples Matches with Da Vinci Surgical Robot
  • Suave Surgery Resident has Unlisted PagerSuave Surgery Resident has Unlisted Pager
  • Male M3 Sure to Get Cooties Vaccine Well in Advance of OB/GYN ClerkshipMale M3 Sure to Get Cooties Vaccine Well in Advance of OB/GYN Clerkship
  • M3 on Surgery Eats Lunch at 9:30 amM3 on Surgery Eats Lunch at 9:30 am
  • See More

More Headlines

  • M4 SSRI Rx Quadruples After Required Student Loan Repayment LectureM4 SSRI Rx Quadruples After Required Student Loan Repayment Lecture
  • Feinberg Bane Selected to Give Graduation SpeechFeinberg Bane Selected to Give Graduation Speech
  • Fellow Residency Interviewee Telling You How Bad Weather in Chicago is for 457th TimeFellow Residency Interviewee Telling You How Bad Weather in Chicago is for 457th Time
  • Your Specialty Advisor Only Doing This To Beef-Up His CVYour Specialty Advisor Only Doing This To Beef-Up His CV
  • Residency Applicant Confidently Nails Interview Question Regarding Intergalactic Applications of Elemental MagnesiumResidency Applicant Confidently Nails Interview Question Regarding Intergalactic Applications of Elemental Magnesium
  • See More

Get Adobe Flash playerPlugin by wpburn.com wordpress themes