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Gunner Hopes World Doesn’t End Until <em>AFTER</em> First CV Exam

Gunner Hopes World Doesn’t End Until AFTER First CV Exam

PRE-APOCALYPTIC EARTH – As the 5125 year long Mesoamerican Long Count calendar comes to on end on December 21, 2012, many are preparing for a cataclysmic event. It has been suggested that the Mayans predicted the end of the world on this day because of the start of a spiritual or physical transformation. A physical transformation may include the arrival of the next solar maximum, a black hole in the center of the galaxy, or a collision with the planet “Nibiru.”

December 21st is also the day of the next Feinberg M1 exam. Go figure.

Some FSM students are taking the threat seriously. One student admitted to not searching for an AOSC advisor. Another student revealed that he hasn’t filled out an evaluation since the first block of PBL. Others are not concerned at all and happily go about their normal business, while a handful couldn’t care either way.

Alfred Stevenson, a well-known M1gunner, is largely indifferent when it comes to the Mayan prediction.

“End of the world? That’s the last thing on my mind right now. I finally finished the 200 pages of reading for Health and Society. Time now to memorize the 12 lead locations of an ECG and how to precisely calculate interval axes. […] To be honest, I don’t care if something bad happens, just as long as it doesn’t happen until 12:01pm CDT. Exams are my time to shine, don’t want to miss out on such a great opportunity to destroy yet another exam!”

It is curious that an exam has been scheduled on December 21st, the first organ system based exam no less. Perhaps that’s the catastrophe the Mayans predicted? If the difficulty of this first CV week is any indication, it could very well be what they had in mind. Or, it could initiate the start of a spiritual transformation. Like you realizing that medical school is actually really hard.

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