Tag Archive | "Feinberg"

M1 Male Still Upset by Sex Ratio of 2016 Class

M1 Male Still Upset by Sex Ratio of 2016 Class

CHICAGO – Feinberg M1 Daryl Jameson informed Flipside reporters today that “Daryl still just can’t believe the sex ratio in our class. I mean 60/40?! That’s putting Daryl at a distinct disadvantage! Daryl needs all the chances that Daryl can get.”

Jameson fully expected to “pick up right where [he] left off at the Beta Gamma Theta house,” at his undergraduate institution.

Jameson described his typical day in class, hunting for the ladies:  “I look around the room and what do I see? Dudes.  Sweaty dudes.  Dudes who don’t shower before class.  Oh, wait?! Look at that chick! AH! Oh no, she’s already surrounded by 4 guys. Unbelievable.”

Jameson reported to The Flipside that this “totally bogus sex ratio” impedes his ability to meet ladies at class parties and bar gatherings.  “Daryl will walk into a party and see 15 guys before one chick.  I mean come on, man! How am I supposed to work under these conditions?”

While life is currently tough for the fresh-faced M1, Jameson’s hopes remain high for the potential of M2 transfer to help him out.  “It’s all Daryl really has to hope for.”  Jameson told Flipside reporters that he is planning to channel his disappointment into exercise.  “Gotta feed the pythons,” stated Jackson at the River East Club, doing bicep curls. Daryl’s going to have to do it all on his own.”

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Area Student to Answer “D” on Step1 Question About Kreb’s Cycle

Area Student to Answer “D” on Step1 Question About Kreb’s Cycle

CHICAGO – Ecstatic Feinberg student Stephen Johnson cannot wait to “totally nail that question on the Kreb’s Cycle when Step1 rolls around.”  Johnson is of course referring to the “totally kick ass” review of Foundations Exam I offered to students this year, in which every difficult concept presented in class was boiled down to a single letter:  A-E.

“I mean, where was this during lecture? I’m struggling to keep my head above water.  TCA, organelles, cell cycle, birth defects and then BOOM, it all becomes so simple.  Autosomal dominant inheritance = B.  Presenting symptoms of Turner Syndrome = B, C and sometimes A.  Even something difficult like the branching patterns of spinal nerves = A+C to D, then E.  I’m set! No Kaplan needed.”

In lieu of vigorously studying for Step1, Stephen informed Flipside reporters that his “Xbox won’t know what hit it.  His liver, too.”  While the efficacy of this new approach to prepare students for boards is yet to be seen, one thing remains certain:  Educators are continuing to push the envelope of medical training.

Posted in Local, No. 1Comments (0)

Feinberg Student Still Using Streeterville Cheesecake Factory as Basis to Navigate Chicago

Feinberg Student Still Using Streeterville Cheesecake Factory as Basis to Navigate Chicago

CHICAGO — Feinberg student Danica Smalls reportedly referenced the location of a restaurant 3.5 miles Northwest of the Chicago campus as being “pretty far from Cheesecake Factory, right?” sources tell The Flipside.  This is not the first time that Smalls has made such references including: Asking where a bar in Wicker Park was with respect to “that nice Starbuck’s right across from McClurg,” and where Wrigley Field is “if I’m by Nordstrom.”

“Well, I usually think about where the Cheesecake factory is, and go from there,” said Smalls who reports that “I’m really starting to learn my way around town! They said Chicago is easy to navigate once you get your bearings, and I’m definitely starting to see that.”

Smalls is reportedly excited to escape campus in the near future “to check out Gold Coast and River North.  It’ll be so nice to finally get really far from all the stresses of campus!”  Flipside will follow up with Danica when more details regarding this excursion become available.

 

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