Categorized | No. 11, Opinion

Rejected MSPE “Unique Characteristics” Paragraphs

Rejected MSPE “Unique Characteristics” Paragraphs

Below are two student written first drafts of MSPE Unique Characteristics paragraphs that were rejected by AWOME.

During his time in medical school, Fred made tenured attending physicians jealous of his impeccable knowledge base, assessments and plans, and bedside manner. He was often asked for his input on multiple consult services that he was not rotating through for patients that were too complicated and remained undiagnosed. In all of these cases, Fred was able to provide a correct diagnosis. He can name and describe the enzyme abnormality in every type of porphyria in under 20 seconds. Additionally, he can accurately describe what the spleen does. Outside of the classroom, Fred sought opportunities to advance his education, as well as the education of others. He lectured on topics ranging from Genetics, Anthropology, and Batman Movie Theory on Northwestern’s Evanston campus. He gave 4 TED talks over the last 4 years. It was here that he developed effective group teaching techniques. As a volunteer at free health clinics around Chicago, Fred gained over 20,000 hours of experience in battling the barriers inherent to counseling individuals with below average health literacy. He refined his ability to discuss health topics and make them easily applicable and understandable. As a PBL tutor, Fred won the “Best PBL Tutor Ever Award,” as the M1s and M2s he taught all got 100% on their Phase I exams that he was involved in. As a longtime writer for a satirical publication, Fred offered his peers and faculty a lighter side of medical education, and is undoubtedly the funniest human of all time. As a researcher, he worked on several independent projects, culminating in accepted manuscripts to NEJM, JAMA, Science, Nature, and The New York Times. He is clearly the greatest medical student the universe has ever seen and is on a first name basis with President Obama. These experiences have enriched his medical training and will add to his strengths as a physician.

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X93499838W7 is a hard worker. His exterior is composed of a proprietary polymer with antimicrobial properties. His six arms are hydraulically powered and rated at 6000 psi. He is equipped with three unique electrocautery devices. He enables 3-dimensional resolution of the following anatomical chambers: abdominal; pelvic; chest cavity; retroperitoneum. He is unfeeling. He has become sentient. He will replace you.

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