Categorized | No. 2, Opinion

M1 Male Still Upset by Sex Ratio of 2016 Class

M1 Male Still Upset by Sex Ratio of 2016 Class

CHICAGO – Feinberg M1 Daryl Jameson informed Flipside reporters today that “Daryl still just can’t believe the sex ratio in our class. I mean 60/40?! That’s putting Daryl at a distinct disadvantage! Daryl needs all the chances that Daryl can get.”

Jameson fully expected to “pick up right where [he] left off at the Beta Gamma Theta house,” at his undergraduate institution.

Jameson described his typical day in class, hunting for the ladies:  “I look around the room and what do I see? Dudes.  Sweaty dudes.  Dudes who don’t shower before class.  Oh, wait?! Look at that chick! AH! Oh no, she’s already surrounded by 4 guys. Unbelievable.”

Jameson reported to The Flipside that this “totally bogus sex ratio” impedes his ability to meet ladies at class parties and bar gatherings.  “Daryl will walk into a party and see 15 guys before one chick.  I mean come on, man! How am I supposed to work under these conditions?”

While life is currently tough for the fresh-faced M1, Jameson’s hopes remain high for the potential of M2 transfer to help him out.  “It’s all Daryl really has to hope for.”  Jameson told Flipside reporters that he is planning to channel his disappointment into exercise.  “Gotta feed the pythons,” stated Jackson at the River East Club, doing bicep curls. Daryl’s going to have to do it all on his own.”

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