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Lost tour group of 2012 rescued from underground tunnels

During the winter of 2012, two tour guides and six interviewees disappeared into the tunnels under the school during a tour. They would not resurface for another six years. Last Thursday, they were discovered shambling into Galter Library. They are being treated at Northwestern Memorial Hospital and reported to be in stable condition.

Galter Library was nearly silent last Thursday night at 10:00 p.m., one hour before closing. Despite the quietude, the library was full of M1s studying furiously for their pulmonary module exam. As the night wore on, the silence became increasing punctuated by sporadic bursts of hysterical sobbing. Such was the environment that when eight disheveled men and women stumbled into the library at 10:55 p.m., none of the M1s even noticed.

The librarians noticed. Vigilant as ever, they asked the newcomers to show their IDs. All eight men and women simultaneously experienced episodes of syncope. Upon being rushed to the Northwestern Memorial Hospital Memorial Emergency Department, staff discovered a long expired Northwestern Wildcard that identified one woman as Jemima Jones, a woman Flipside reporters quickly discovered was a past Feinberg student who would have graduated in 2015 had she not tragically disappeared while giving a tour to interviewees in 2012. Jones appeared to be the leader of the group as she was wearing an elaborate necklace woven from six name tag lanyards.

The M1s barely noticed the commotion. At 11:00 p.m., they stirred only to put away their laptops and tear-soaked copies of First Aid, glancing past the ambulances and medics carrying away eight unconscious bodies and moving to the 24-hour section of the library.

Flipside reporters were lucky to get exclusive interviews with the survivors on Tuesday morning.

“We were lucky to survive,” one interviewee stated, a grim look on her face. “We kept ourselves nourished by drinking the condensation off of the heating pipes and attacking the pizza delivery people who also got lost in the tunnels every week or so. The trick is to get to them before they join ‘the Others.’”

Evidently, the tour group was not alone in the underground tunnels. The overhead lights never turned off, but they knew that it was daytime when they were awoken with the smells of pizza drifting tantalizingly from the far reaches of the tunnels, just beyond the corner. On their second day underground, they made the mistake of following the smells to the hideout of ‘the Others.” None of the survivors would tell us any more.

When pressed, an interviewee responded only by shouting repeatedly, “the pipes, the pipes, where do they go?”

“It was pretty intense,” gushed another interviewee. “I mean I heard from studentdoctor.net that Feinberg interviews were pretty chill, so I wasn’t really expecting that and there were moments when I almost got kind of stressed, but for the most part I stayed confident and I think I did really well. When will I be hearing back?”

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