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M4 Pyromaniac Really Disappointed by “Match” Day
 
M4 Pyromaniac Really Disappointed by “Match” Day

M4 Pyromaniac Really Disappointed by “Match” Day

"I had been excited for this day for months and it didn’t turn out the way I would have hoped.”

National Residency Match Program® Helps M4 Find True Love

February 08, 2018

WARD BUILDING—This Valentine’s Day, M4 student Aaron Wu is determined to find love. A specialty he loves, that is. Although he has been interviewing at a diverse range of residency programs, Wu still has not settled on one he will spend the rest of his life with. He has enlisted the help of The National […]

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Lost tour group of 2012 rescued from underground tunnels

February 08, 2018

During the winter of 2012, two tour guides and six interviewees disappeared into the tunnels under the school during a tour. They would not resurface for another six years. Last Thursday, they were discovered shambling into Galter Library. They are being treated at Northwestern Memorial Hospital and reported to be in stable condition. Galter Library […]

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STEP 1 exam now asks open-ended questions

STEP 1 exam now asks open-ended questions

January 06, 2018

Philadelphia, PA—Calling the change in exam format “a step to a better STEP,” members of the National Board of Medical Examiners (NBME) announced Tuesday that the USMLE Step 1 would soon include open-ended questions. The announcement noted the importance of the technique for future physicians, stating that “because open-ended questions do not limit a subject […]

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Are you a gunner?

January 06, 2018

Find out here.

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Budget Cuts Lead To More Musical Theater: Redefining the PTTP Curriculum

Budget Cuts Lead To More Musical Theater: Redefining the PTTP Curriculum

January 06, 2018

THORNE AUDITORIUM—First-year medical students were baffled Friday by a required lecture from Dr. Rishi Agrawal as part of the Personal Transition to the Profession, entitled “You Deserve To Be Here.” Excited students poured into the packed auditorium, eager to learn about self-awareness and overcoming Imposter Syndrome. “I like this part of our curriculum, so I […]

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High blood pressure guidelines lowered

November 14, 2017

Feinberg Voices After the The American Heart Association and ten other groups redefined high blood pressure as a reading of 130 over 80, nearly half of all U.S. adults now will be considered hypertensive. What do you think? They’re changing already? But I just finished hearing about BP guidelines for the first time! ZOYA RANDI, M1 […]

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Ethical questions posed to class by wide-eyed, bloodstained Tod Chambers

Ethical questions posed to class by wide-eyed, bloodstained Tod Chambers

October 31, 2017

CHICAGO, IL—While reportedly pausing to cast a furtive glance around his McGaw Pavilion classroom, a disheveled Associate Professor Dr. Tod Chambers began Clinical Ethics with an abrupt question, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Kimberly, what’s the difference between doing surgery and stabbing someone on the street?” asked the bloodstained Dr. Chambers, adding that he would really like […]

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Local gunner lives life at 1.75x speed

Local gunner lives life at 1.75x speed

October 31, 2017

CHICAGO, IL—Feinberg medical student Camille Cross was so enamored with the speeding functions of Panopto that she converted her entire lifestyle to 1.75x speed, multiple sources confirmed Friday. Her roommate, Paige Paisley, first alerted fellow students to Cross’s new lifestyle two weeks ago by posting a Snapchat story of Cross watching House and The Bachelorette […]

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Ultrasound-welding oracle portends fetus’ future

Ultrasound-welding oracle portends fetus’ future

October 31, 2017

PRENTICE WOMEN’S HOSPITAL—Flourishing an ultrasound wand with the sagely demeanor of an all-knowing oracle, local obstetrician-gynecologist resident Dr. Adel Emilie foresaw the future of an unborn child, sources confirmed Thursday. Reportedly, the expectant mother Katie Mariana visited Prentice Women’s Hospital Thursday for a glimpse into the future for her 8-week-old offspring. As per his usual […]

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Rejected MSPE “Unique Characteristics” Paragraphs

Rejected MSPE “Unique Characteristics” Paragraphs

April 08, 2016

Below are two student written first drafts of MSPE Unique Characteristics paragraphs that were rejected by AWOME. During his time in medical school, Fred made tenured attending physicians jealous of his impeccable knowledge base, assessments and plans, and bedside manner. He was often asked for his input on multiple consult services that he was not rotating […]

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Headlines

  • Dean Neilson clearly asleep during kidney transplantDean Neilson clearly asleep during kidney transplant
  • Alcoholic, antivax patient ambivalent about shots.Alcoholic, antivax patient ambivalent about shots.
  • Medical student convicted for vehicular manslaughter after ignoring low yield sign.Medical student convicted for vehicular manslaughter after ignoring low yield sign.
  • FSM to Charge You $72.07 for Graduation Attire, Because, Like, Why Not?FSM to Charge You $72.07 for Graduation Attire, Because, Like, Why Not?
  • Lonely M4 Couples Matches with Da Vinci Surgical RobotLonely M4 Couples Matches with Da Vinci Surgical Robot
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  • M4 SSRI Rx Quadruples After Required Student Loan Repayment LectureM4 SSRI Rx Quadruples After Required Student Loan Repayment Lecture
  • Feinberg Bane Selected to Give Graduation SpeechFeinberg Bane Selected to Give Graduation Speech
  • Fellow Residency Interviewee Telling You How Bad Weather in Chicago is for 457th TimeFellow Residency Interviewee Telling You How Bad Weather in Chicago is for 457th Time
  • Your Specialty Advisor Only Doing This To Beef-Up His CVYour Specialty Advisor Only Doing This To Beef-Up His CV
  • Residency Applicant Confidently Nails Interview Question Regarding Intergalactic Applications of Elemental MagnesiumResidency Applicant Confidently Nails Interview Question Regarding Intergalactic Applications of Elemental Magnesium
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