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M4 Pyromaniac Really Disappointed by “Match” Day
 
M4 Pyromaniac Really Disappointed by “Match” Day

M4 Pyromaniac Really Disappointed by “Match” Day

"I had been excited for this day for months and it didn’t turn out the way I would have hoped.”

STEP 1 exam now asks open-ended questions

STEP 1 exam now asks open-ended questions

January 06, 2018

Philadelphia, PA—Calling the change in exam format “a step to a better STEP,” members of the National Board of Medical Examiners (NBME) announced Tuesday that the USMLE Step 1 would soon include open-ended questions. The announcement noted the importance of the technique for future physicians, stating that “because open-ended questions do not limit a subject […]

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Are you a gunner?

January 06, 2018

Find out here.

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Budget Cuts Lead To More Musical Theater: Redefining the PTTP Curriculum

Budget Cuts Lead To More Musical Theater: Redefining the PTTP Curriculum

January 06, 2018

THORNE AUDITORIUM—First-year medical students were baffled Friday by a required lecture from Dr. Rishi Agrawal as part of the Personal Transition to the Profession, entitled “You Deserve To Be Here.” Excited students poured into the packed auditorium, eager to learn about self-awareness and overcoming Imposter Syndrome. “I like this part of our curriculum, so I […]

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High blood pressure guidelines lowered

November 14, 2017

Feinberg Voices After the The American Heart Association and ten other groups redefined high blood pressure as a reading of 130 over 80, nearly half of all U.S. adults now will be considered hypertensive. What do you think? They’re changing already? But I just finished hearing about BP guidelines for the first time! ZOYA RANDI, M1 […]

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Ethical questions posed to class by wide-eyed, bloodstained Tod Chambers

Ethical questions posed to class by wide-eyed, bloodstained Tod Chambers

October 31, 2017

CHICAGO, IL—While reportedly pausing to cast a furtive glance around his McGaw Pavilion classroom, a disheveled Associate Professor Dr. Tod Chambers began Clinical Ethics with an abrupt question, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Kimberly, what’s the difference between doing surgery and stabbing someone on the street?” asked the bloodstained Dr. Chambers, adding that he would really like […]

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Local gunner lives life at 1.75x speed

Local gunner lives life at 1.75x speed

October 31, 2017

CHICAGO, IL—Feinberg medical student Camille Cross was so enamored with the speeding functions of Panopto that she converted her entire lifestyle to 1.75x speed, multiple sources confirmed Friday. Her roommate, Paige Paisley, first alerted fellow students to Cross’s new lifestyle two weeks ago by posting a Snapchat story of Cross watching House and The Bachelorette […]

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Ultrasound-welding oracle portends fetus’ future

Ultrasound-welding oracle portends fetus’ future

October 31, 2017

PRENTICE WOMEN’S HOSPITAL—Flourishing an ultrasound wand with the sagely demeanor of an all-knowing oracle, local obstetrician-gynecologist resident Dr. Adel Emilie foresaw the future of an unborn child, sources confirmed Thursday. Reportedly, the expectant mother Katie Mariana visited Prentice Women’s Hospital Thursday for a glimpse into the future for her 8-week-old offspring. As per his usual […]

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Rejected MSPE “Unique Characteristics” Paragraphs

Rejected MSPE “Unique Characteristics” Paragraphs

April 08, 2016

Below are two student written first drafts of MSPE Unique Characteristics paragraphs that were rejected by AWOME. During his time in medical school, Fred made tenured attending physicians jealous of his impeccable knowledge base, assessments and plans, and bedside manner. He was often asked for his input on multiple consult services that he was not rotating […]

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Surgery Attending Finishes Student Evals in Record Time with Creation of “.MS3” Dot-Phrase

Surgery Attending Finishes Student Evals in Record Time with Creation of “.MS3” Dot-Phrase

April 08, 2016

FEINBERG PAVILION, 5TH FLOOR – General surgery Blue service attending, Dr. Ellis, finished the ten evaluations of the M3s he’s worked with during the last surgery clerkship block, just hours before the 4-week post SHELF deadline. Traditionally, he finishes with minutes to spare, but credits this successful grading session to a new dot-phrase:   Comments […]

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The New Curriculum: Where are we now and how much should you still be complaining?

The New Curriculum: Where are we now and how much should you still be complaining?

April 08, 2016

Location: Capstone.   Cause: One last parenteral bolus of the threads we love most from the New Curriculum.   Complaint level: High (threat level ORANGE).   Rationale: Stealing you from your precious final weeks as a human being prior to starting 80 hour work weeks for the next 3-7 years. This includes, but is not […]

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