February 08, 2018
WARD BUILDING—This Valentine’s Day, M4 student Aaron Wu is determined to find love. A specialty he loves, that is. Although he has been interviewing at a diverse range of residency programs, Wu still has not settled on one he will spend the rest of his life with. He has enlisted the help of The National […]
February 08, 2018
During the winter of 2012, two tour guides and six interviewees disappeared into the tunnels under the school during a tour. They would not resurface for another six years. Last Thursday, they were discovered shambling into Galter Library. They are being treated at Northwestern Memorial Hospital and reported to be in stable condition. Galter Library […]
January 06, 2018
Philadelphia, PA—Calling the change in exam format “a step to a better STEP,” members of the National Board of Medical Examiners (NBME) announced Tuesday that the USMLE Step 1 would soon include open-ended questions. The announcement noted the importance of the technique for future physicians, stating that “because open-ended questions do not limit a subject […]
January 06, 2018
THORNE AUDITORIUM—First-year medical students were baffled Friday by a required lecture from Dr. Rishi Agrawal as part of the Personal Transition to the Profession, entitled “You Deserve To Be Here.” Excited students poured into the packed auditorium, eager to learn about self-awareness and overcoming Imposter Syndrome. “I like this part of our curriculum, so I […]
November 14, 2017
Feinberg Voices After the The American Heart Association and ten other groups redefined high blood pressure as a reading of 130 over 80, nearly half of all U.S. adults now will be considered hypertensive. What do you think? They’re changing already? But I just finished hearing about BP guidelines for the first time! ZOYA RANDI, M1 […]
October 31, 2017
CHICAGO, IL—While reportedly pausing to cast a furtive glance around his McGaw Pavilion classroom, a disheveled Associate Professor Dr. Tod Chambers began Clinical Ethics with an abrupt question, sources confirmed Tuesday. “Kimberly, what’s the difference between doing surgery and stabbing someone on the street?” asked the bloodstained Dr. Chambers, adding that he would really like […]
October 31, 2017
CHICAGO, IL—Feinberg medical student Camille Cross was so enamored with the speeding functions of Panopto that she converted her entire lifestyle to 1.75x speed, multiple sources confirmed Friday. Her roommate, Paige Paisley, first alerted fellow students to Cross’s new lifestyle two weeks ago by posting a Snapchat story of Cross watching House and The Bachelorette […]
October 31, 2017
PRENTICE WOMEN’S HOSPITAL—Flourishing an ultrasound wand with the sagely demeanor of an all-knowing oracle, local obstetrician-gynecologist resident Dr. Adel Emilie foresaw the future of an unborn child, sources confirmed Thursday. Reportedly, the expectant mother Katie Mariana visited Prentice Women’s Hospital Thursday for a glimpse into the future for her 8-week-old offspring. As per his usual […]
April 08, 2016
Below are two student written first drafts of MSPE Unique Characteristics paragraphs that were rejected by AWOME. During his time in medical school, Fred made tenured attending physicians jealous of his impeccable knowledge base, assessments and plans, and bedside manner. He was often asked for his input on multiple consult services that he was not rotating […]
Dean Neilson clearly asleep during kidney transplant
Alcoholic, antivax patient ambivalent about shots.
Medical student convicted for vehicular manslaughter after ignoring low yield sign.
FSM to Charge You $72.07 for Graduation Attire, Because, Like, Why Not?
Lonely M4 Couples Matches with Da Vinci Surgical Robot
M4 SSRI Rx Quadruples After Required Student Loan Repayment Lecture
Feinberg Bane Selected to Give Graduation Speech
Fellow Residency Interviewee Telling You How Bad Weather in Chicago is for 457th Time
Your Specialty Advisor Only Doing This To Beef-Up His CV
Residency Applicant Confidently Nails Interview Question Regarding Intergalactic Applications of Elemental Magnesium
